Life??? WTF?

Today I did two things I haven't done in a while. The first is blog. And the second is seriously evaluate my life circumstances financially. The first is probably more of a result of the second than anything. Sometimes you just gotta write stuff down so you can visualize just how shitty it is.

Now I would like to start and end on a good note leaving the shit to permeate somewhere in the middle. I once heard a very smart man tell me "If you are served a shit appetizer you should eat it, because if you don't it is going to come back as a shit entrée and then a shit dessert."

I have been dealt a pretty good hand since birth. Good home. Potential. Great family. It wasn't all peaches and creme with a silver spoon, but we did have spoons... Even recently, I have altered my perspective on life that I haven't fully realized yet. I live in one of the most appealing cities in southern california, great roommates, a job, and my own bed (ahh the small things). Without further review, I'm tops. Unfortunately today, I further reviewed. . .

If it was only my long hours at work, the seemingly insurmountable workload, the commute, and the lack of accountability from my employees when I get there, I would still be walking around with a chipper step.

On top of that, if it was only the double (sometimes triple) taxation (that our ancestors fought a bloody bloody war over), the greedy system (failures set back on their feet with our double and triple taxed funds), or my student loans (that are the bane of my existence, an 'existence' I wouldn't have if I didn't do the responsible thing and go to college), I would still be walking with my shoulders back and my head up.

Instead, it is that combined with everyone telling me "That is just how it is" or "That's life." I find it hard for me to believe that God put me on this earth to hide from His sunshine and spend the better portion of my waking life working for, pursuing, and obtaining things I don't need.

To live in dreams unrealized is to die every day a new.

But these dreams are in us for a reason. I believe this now more than ever. Not something we looking at like a shadow of a mirage, but something that we are intended to set our gaze upon and wildly pursue. Don't wake up every day and say to yourself "I am who I am," but instead, assure yourself that you are not who you will be.

The only shit appetizer I am going to eat is the one that I ordered.